This Sunday marked the five month anniversary of our engagement! It’s been a whirlwind time for both of us with lots of emotions, stories and insights. I started a blog to help convey the lessons I’ve learned since my introduction into fiancee-hood. But what about what J’s gone through? Here are a few of the thoughts he’d probably share with men who are about to propose to their girlfriends! If only he had known ahead of time…
1. You will not get to sit back and relax after the proposal, even though you probably deserve to. A few days after we got engaged, J and I had our first discussion about setting a date. J thought a year and a half would be a nice time frame. My friend E reported a similar situation with her fiancee who suggested they wait well over a year to walk down the aisle. Another friend’s fiance admitted he thought they’d wait at least two years before even starting to plan their nuptials!
Guess what, guys? Slipping the ring on her finger is like pulling the trigger on the starting gun: on your marks, get set, get married! I understand that you just went through a lot of stress choosing the ring, planning the surprise and pulling off the proposal. We truly are grateful but quite frankly, you’ve given us an excuse to do a ton of shopping, crafting and planning and there’s no way we can wait. Honestly, we can’t. It’s in our DNA. Think of the little box that ring comes in as Pandora’s Box because once you open it, there ain’t no stopping the wedding planning.
2. You will discuss something about the wedding every day until the wedding. This will eventually make you grateful that you are not, in fact, waiting more than a year to get married.
3. You will be judged by the ring. “Let me see it!” Is what most ladies will say the first time they run into your gal after getting engaged. They’ll exclaim, “Oh, it’s beautiful!”or, “How do you hold up your finger? It’s so big!” or “Oh! It’s so bright. I need sunglasses!”
I know when you’re picking out the ring you’re only worried about her reaction, but you should also worry about the reactions of her mother, her best friend, her co-workers, her hairdresser, her bagger at the grocery store who asks if she prefers paper or plastic, and just about every other woman in her life.
4. You will be forced to watch a lot of wedding television: Poor J was not invited to attend my wedding dress shopping. However he has seen hundreds of brides try on and find their future wedding gowns thanks to the Say Yes to the Dress marathons that occur every Friday on TLC. (And now Say Yes To The Dress Atlanta! Southern women are crraaaazzy!) He’s also been forced to watch David Tutera, Battle of the Wedding Designers, Whose Wedding is it Anyway, and Bridezillas. Can somebody say estrogen overload???
5. No matter how crazy your future bride gets during the wedding planning, just remember: it could be worse. This is why I make sure J watches a lot of episodes of Bridezillas! Those hoes make me look calm, sane and rational. Bring it on!