Happy Friday! To switch things up a bit, Stephen and I decided to take turns sounding off about the reception classic that is the garter toss. Here's what we both had to say.
Groom's View by Stephen
To some, the garter toss may seem like a long-standing tradition, but it was never done at any of the weddings I went to as a kid. Because of that, the ritual doesn't have the same significance for me as it does for others. The one time I did see a toss, the garter removal was done in such an over-the-top fashion that it seemed more like a burlesque show than part of a wedding celebration.
The worst part was that when it came to the actual toss, the half-dozen guys made hardly any effort to catch the garter, and were completely disinterested. Compared with the jostling and general excitement during the bouquet toss, the garter toss came across as being awkward and devoid of any enjoyment.
I'm not completely opposed to having a garter toss at our wedding, but I'm also not going to do it simply for the sake of tradition. It needs to mesh with the overall feel of our celebration, and if that can't be done, well, then it isn't worth doing.
Bride's View by Heather
Having seen enough garter tosses where the groom (in many cases after enjoying the open bar just a bit too much) got completely carried away, I've gone back and forth about whether we should include this ritual as part of our wedding reception.
On one hand, the garter toss sounds like a fun tradition I would hate to miss out on. Plus, I know that Stephen is definitely not the type of groom to carry things too far. But, that said, I'm afraid that if we do include it, everyone will expect us to go all-out in a way I'm not comfortable with, especially in front of our families, former professors, and a couple teenage guests.
To keep things sweet and only a little sassy, I envision us playing a cute song, maybe the Beatles' "All You Need Is Love," which is one of our favorites, while Stephen kneels down, kisses my hand, and removes the garter with his fingers, not teeth. After that, he can perform the traditional toss of the belt to all the eligible guys at the party, who, with the right build-up from the DJ, will hopefully show some enthusiasm. It's classy yet simple, and would still let us include the toss as part of our celebration.
Well, those are our thoughts, ladies. What are yours? Do you think we should be more willing to "let loose" during the garter toss, or do you like what I have in mind as a compromise?
(Photo Credits: Garters by Kristi)
Thanks for all the great thoughts and suggestions, ladies! Glad to know we’re not the only ones unsure how to handle this tradition. As the wedding gets closer, I’ll definitely let you know what we decide to do. :)
Lynn A., I love your bouquet toss idea! It sounds like such a nice way to be more inclusive and avoid any of the awkward feelings New Mexican Bride mentioned in her comments.
Born to be Mrs. Beever, rhondajoel, march-eleven2010 and mwhalen84, we are actually planning to include an anniversary dance to honor the longest-married couple at our reception, so that might be an excellent way to tie in giving away the garter and bouquet, if we decide to skip the actual tosses. Thanks for the ideas!
And MartinKatieWed, I’ve seen the guy who caught the garter put it on the leg of the girl who caught the bouquet before, although they both seemed to feel very awkward while doing it. So, that may be one thing we’ll skip, even if we end up doing bouquet and garter tosses.
I may have already posted this on Born to be Mrs. Beever's blog, but...
I don't think we are doing the garter & bouquet toss in the traditional sense. We have so few single guests that I think doing these traditions would just be awkward across the board. Instead, we are planning to do something, like maybe a dance contest for all guests, with these items being the prize.

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Heather Warren is a busy bride-to-be living in the Washington, D.C., area while planning a wedding across the country in her hometown of Thousand Oaks, California. An aspiring writer, Heather has experience in journalism and communications.
She and her fiancé Stephen hope to make their June 2010 wedding fun, unique and (we can dream) stress free! You can also follow Heather on Twitter at @Bicoastal_Bride.



