When I first started working in the special-events business, décor options were incredibly limited: white plates, linens in primary colors loaded with polyester, two types of chairs, and sixty-inch round tables. Over the years, the industry has grown tremendously and there are vendors specializing in every single detail. From spectacular linens in a rainbow of colors and fabrics to china patterns to match any theme, if you can imagine it, someone will be able to help you make it happen.

Begin by selecting the type of reception you'd like. Maybe you've always dreamed of a beach barbeque with your friends gathered around a bonfire, or an early evening reception followed by a night of dancing. From casual to extremely formal, the choice is yours. A huge variety of untraditional venues are available if the local banquet hall or country club isn't your dream. Museum spaces, restaurants, or a gorgeous tent in a field can be decorated to become the perfect reception venue.

             


Start planning your reception by looking at the big picture, then filling in the specifics. Select a color scheme that will tie in to your table linens, flowers, and invitations to tell a story that flows.



Allow yourself to be inspired by everything around you, from a gorgeous swatch of fabric to your grandmother's silverware. Find visual representations of what you'd like so you can articulate your vision to the vendors who will be helping you. This way, you'll get the exact color and style you want instead of four different interpretations of "robin's egg blue". Try to gather all your vendors together for a production meeting to make sure everyone is on the same page. It's another appointment you'll need to fit in, but it will be worth it when all the details fall seamlessly into place. Also, if one of your vendors can never find time to meet, this is a good sign that you should consider finding a new one. Keep a wedding binder to organize everything from fabric swatches to contracts, all organized by vendor. You'll never be wondering what you owe or what you've selected, and your vision will be crystal clear.

Whatever theme you select, there are a few things I suggest to every bride. Don't set every table the same. Mix round, square, and rectangular tables to add visual interest to the room. Consider using the same underlay cloth, but having a different overlay, runner, or napkin fabric on each table shape. You may want to select a few different china patterns in the same color scheme. This will create a curated, gathered look, as though you hand-selected every plate, fork, and glass.

Remember, your reception is a celebration of the marriage between you and your fiancé surrounded by the people you love. Spend money on the things that will be the most enjoyed. Instead of an evening of dinner and dancing, consider a cocktail reception with passed hors d'oeuvres and Champagne. This will be your first statement of style as a couple, so pick a few things and do them well instead of trying to do ten things by stretching your budget too far. As long as you are happy with the results and create a party that represents you as a couple, your guests will remember the highlights and will never know about your budget.

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One of the most commonly overlooked aspects of both a ceremony and a reception is lighting. Many people forget how important it is because most of the planning is done during the day. However, when night falls, you want everyone to look glamorous (and be able to see) so be sure to consider lighting carefully.

Whatever you light will be seen, while everything else will fall into blackness. Use this to your advantage by hiding the things you don't want to see. Don't light the corners where there are no decorations: top-light flower arrangements on the table, and have some glamorous lighting pointed at your cake to make it look extra delicious.



I'm a self-confessed ambience junkie, and I truly believe that the right ambience will make a party. You want to be able to adjust the lighting to match the mood. It should be slightly brighter, while still elegant and subdued, during dinner, then darker and seductive for dancing. Consider mirror balls or lighting gels to change the atmosphere when the plates are cleared and the music is turned up.

If your reception is in a tent with gathered fabric on the ceiling, consider placing lighting between the tent and the ceiling fabric. You'll be able to diffuse light throughout the room, creating a warm glow and surrounding your guests with color.



Lighting people is incredibly important. Your band or DJ should be lit in skin-friendly colors, such as pink, lavender, and amber. Use the same shades anywhere guests will be. Avoid lighting people with blues, greens, or yellow, which will make them look ill. Nothing flatters the skin like candlelight, so use it wherever possible. It will make everyone look young and glamorous!

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Your invitation (or possibly your save-the-date card) is the first real information that most of your guests will receive regarding the wedding. This little piece of paper has a big job to do: it must set the tone, feeling, and look of your event. It is a marker of the ceremony to come, and must suggest exactly what you want your wedding to be. Do you want a meticulously hand-lettered invitation on luscious cardstock inviting guests to a black-tie reception? Or a card printed on recycled paper tied with a bow and a seashell inviting guests to a fun barefoot wedding on the beach? You are not limited to formal calligraphy on ecru card stock. The paper, font, color and details can be customized to send guests the perfect message, whether you are using a boutique stationer or doing it yourself on your home computer.

Once you have decided on colors and fonts, use the same use the same theme for the save-the-date card, invitation, RSVP card, menu, host card, ceremony program, place card, and thank-you note. These paper goods tell a story, from the first notice to the final thank-you, and should perfectly match the wedding you've dreamed of.

Remember that the purpose of the invitation is to convey information. Invitations should be sent six to twelve weeks in advance, especially if you are asking people to travel on a popular weekend or to a remote destination. They'll appreciate having time to make plans so they can be with you on your special day.

For destination weddings, I like to send a packet of important information printed in the same style as the invitation. Send guests itineraries for each day, including the dress code for every event. Will there be a dinner the evening before? Or maybe a tour of the destination you've chosen? Let guests know so they will be well-prepared when they arrive. Have the itinerary waiting in their hotel rooms, as most people won't bring it with them.

Your sign-in book should also match your paper selections. If your invitations were printed in brown ink, have a brown pen available for guests to write with. Use fabrics that match the color scheme to cover your wedding album to be cherished for years to come. Thank-you notes that match the invitation and other paper goods will take guests back to your special evening.

When selecting embellishments and details, less is more. A shell will look beautiful tied to your invitation, but it will be overdone if there is a shell on every place card, every menu, and every thank-you note. Think about where flourishes will have the most impact, and use them only there. Creativity and imagination will make your wedding a celebration to remember!

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After you've selected the perfect dress and shoes, take the time to consider your hair and makeup. Will you be wearing your hair up or down? Will you be wearing hair accessories, such as pins or clips? Your hairstyle should match the style and formality of your gown and your wedding. For a beach wedding, a soft and piece-y hairstyle will match the mood better than a sculptured mass of curls.

If you plan on getting a hair cut, do so at least two weeks before the wedding so that your hair can grow into the new style. If you color your hair, schedule an appointment for a few days before your wedding to avoid roots or stray grey hairs. Do a trial run with your hairdresser to ensure that you end up with the exact style you want. Schedule a test with your makeup artist for the same day, then go home and put on your gown. Do you look exactly the way you imagined? If not, think about what you'd like to change. You'll have time to talk with your hairdresser and makeup artist to ensure that you look your best on your big day.

The most important thing to remember when choosing your makeup is to make the best of your features instead of caving to trends. Soft eye shadow that highlights your eyes, blush flatters your cheekbones, and a lip color that looks wonderful on your skin tone will make you look happy, fresh, and young. Enhance your natural beauty instead of following the latest makeup trend, and you will look timeless and wonderful. Natural looking beauty can never look dated!

Consider having your makeup artist stay through the ceremony to do touch-ups before the reception. You'll look flawless in all the photographs, even after those tears of joy.

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There are many flowers to consider beyond your bouquet. Your bridesmaids' bouquets should complement your own. Consider using the same flowers in different colors, or a variation on the theme of your wedding. Bridesmaids can carry the exact same bouquet, bouquets of the same color made of a variety of flowers, or the same flower in different shades. Their bouquets should all be smaller than your own, though the maid of honor's bouquet should be slightly larger than the other bridesmaids'.

The flower girl's flowers are also important. Will she have flowers in her hair? And don't forget the basket of petals she'll be holding. The petals should match your color scheme, and the basket should match the theme of your wedding. For example, a great alternative to a wicker basket for a beach wedding is a giant shell, filled with petals and decorated with ribbons or pearl garlands.

Boutonnieres for both the groom and groomsmen are just as important as the bouquets. Your groom's boutonniere should match your bouquet perfectly. Use one of the same flowers from your bouquet, whether a classic rose, a modern Calla Lily, or a sprig of Lily of the Valley. Groomsmen's boutonnieres should relate to the bridesmaids' bouquets, and don't have to be exactly the same as that of the groom.

Don't forget other family members. Mothers of the bride and groom, as well as grandmothers, aunts, and sisters, should receive a corsage or nosegay that is similar to those of the bridesmaids. Fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and brothers should receive boutonnieres.

A final word of advice: have your florist make extras. Having a few extra boutonnieres and corsages on hand will ensure that no family member is forgotten. If you plan on tossing your bouquet, have the florist make you a smaller, similar bouquet that is lighter. You'll be able to keep your own bouquet without skipping the ritual. For grooms, have a second boutonniere made. After greeting all the guests, the first one will probably be slightly bruised. Nothing is more 007 than standing to cut the cake with a fresh-looking boutonniere!

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Planning the meal for your reception requires a lot of thought and planning. You'll have to consider the taste, temperature, and appearance of everything you plan to serve your guests. My rule of thumb is to start with the best available ingredients, and do as little to them as possible. A perfectly grilled piece of chicken with simple roasted potatoes will be much more appreciated than overcooked beef with a heavy, complicated sauce. Begin by finding out what your chef truly excels at, and work together to come up with choices you love. Your wedding day is not the day to discover if he can prepare perfectly seared tuna for 120 fast enough to serve everyone at the same time and the correct temperature.

Before sitting down to discuss the menu, collect tear sheets of food and cocktail recipes that you love, as well as photographs of presentations that you find beautiful. By having these tools handy, you will be able to articulate your vision and be sure that the chef will get it right. Even if the venue has an in-house caterer with a set list of options, approach your selection the same way. Opt for more simple dishes that don't require perfect timing instead of risking disaster with 200 soufflés.

I follow a few simple rules when planning meals with my brides. First, I work to ensure that all courses complement each other. They should all be prepared in a similar style. For example, don't mix Japanese appetizers with an Italian first course and a Southern-fried entrée. Instead, have Japanese influences in all the courses, or go strictly Italian. At the same time, try to avoid repeating your primary ingredient. If you are serving a tomato and mozzarella salad, chose an entrée that doesn't feature tomatoes but instead complements your first course.

During the cocktail reception, I like to offer four to six selections in bite-sized portions. Plan on three to five bites per person, as this is meant to whet guests' appetites, not fill them up. Avoid watery dipping sauces, forks, knives, and plates unless a buffet is set. I love to create stations featuring one type of appetizer, each with an appropriately paired beverage. Caviar is delicious with chilled vodka, while artisanal cheeses and home-cured charucterie are lovely with fine wines.

Timing is of the essence, so plan a menu that can be accomplished realistically. Choose a first course that can be served a few minutes early or late without sacrificing quality. Alternate hot and cold dishes to give the kitchen some leeway and extra preparation time. Cold dishes can be prepared in advance and chilled, giving the chef time to focus on hot dishes. Focus on foods that look fantastic without too much work.

When it comes to offering alternative dishes, I've found that it is easier to offer one dish and plan that 10-15% of your guests will request an alternative. Accomplish two goals at once by selecting an alternative meal that is also vegetarian. Picky eaters and vegetarians alike will be happy to have a choice. Serving food no longer requires waiters in white gloves. Instead, consider serving a family-style meal with large platters of roast chicken and potatoes alongside bowls of grilled vegetables, or bowls of handmade pasta with a delicious sauce.

After selecting a menu, be sure to taste everything you've chosen. Kindly convey concerns or questions, and find a solution with your chef. By working closely with your chef, you will be able to create a meal that guests will truly enjoy.

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Gifts and favors do not have to be limited to mass-produced chocolates that guests will feel obliged to lug home. Instead, consider personal touches that will make them feel special.

For a destination wedding, greet guests at the hotel with a gift basket. Local wine, seasonal fruit, a specialty of the region, maps of town, or something as simple as a compilation CD of your favorite songs will let guests know you're happy to have them there. Don't forget a welcome note and a copy of the weekend's itinerary!

If you're planning a late Saturday night, have bagels and cream cheese left for your guests to enjoy on Sunday morning. They'll appreciate having something to eat before they start their journey home. If you've planned to have a brunch the next morning, present each guest with a CD filled with photographs from the evening before. Tie wit with a ribbon or wrap it beautifully in a color that matches your celebration.

During the ceremony, there are many ways to let guests know they are in your thoughts. A basket of amenities in the restrooms is a great option. For women, provide aspirin, tampons, sanitary pads, mouthwash, dental floss, mints, nail clippers, and clear polish to repair snagged stockings. For men, skip the feminine products and the nail polish. Anticipate your guests' smallest needs, and they'll be that much happier.

Do parents a favor by arranging an activity for children. Whether you find someone to read them stories or organize games, or set up a nearby room with movies and sleeping bags, parents - and all your other guests - will be able to enjoy the party knowing that the children are safe and entertained. Ask your caterer or hotel manager to recommend a staff member who can help out, or hire a local babysitter.

By keeping your guests in mind as you consider every detail of your wedding, you'll ensure a joyous celebration that you and your guests will remember for years to come.

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As the pièce de résistance, your cake should embody every design aspect from your wedding. I make a point of thinking about a cake only after the other design elements are selected. You should already have a color, style, linen pattern, gown, and flowers selected before you start imagining this all-encompassing confection. Put together a swatch board of fabrics, textures, colors, and materials from your wedding, then sit down with your brilliant baker to design a show-stopping and delicious cake.

Cakes no longer have to be all-white with a few roses and a bride-and-groom topper. Pastry chefs today are artists and architects who have mastered the latest techniques and materials. When you're working with your baker to create your perfect cake, be sure to consider the following:

Delivery: Arrange for the cake to be delivered at a specific time in a specific place. Confirm this multiple times so that the cake is exactly where you want it when you need it.

Moving: Try never to move a wedding cake yourself. Have your baker deliver the cake exactly where you want it to be when you cut it later in the evening. I have had a cake delivered to a home where the reception was in the garden twenty steps down. We tried to move it, and the cake tumbled to the ground!

Height: Even a small wedding cake needs presence. Use a cake stand or a faux bottom tier to add height and drama. Work with a baker who is accustomed to complex designs and using dowel systems for support. You want your cake to look as perfect when you cut it as it did when it left the bakeshop.

Refrigeration: Keep the cake chilled as long as possible, and do everything you can to keep it out of the sun. Shade it with a tree or an umbrella for an outdoor wedding.

Flowers: Icing flowers are gorgeous, but can be very costly. Consider incorporating real flowers into your cake between tiers or as a garland. Just be absolutely sure that there are no toxic flowers (such as oleanders) anywhere near your cake!

Personalization: Instead of topping the cake with a plastic bride and groom, choose a topper that matches the design of your wedding. Anything from initials to poetry, a flower to a seashell... make it memorable and unique.

Tasting: Remember that how the cake tastes is every bit as important as it looks. It is most likely the single most expensive food item at your celebration, so make sure that it is unbelievably delicious. Use your imagination when selecting a flavor: each tier can be a different flavor, or you can choose a cake based on seasonal flavors such as lemon or passion fruit in the spring and summer.

Serving: Instead of serving a slice of cake alone on a plate, create a dessert composition. Garnish the cake with a fruit coulis, a scoop of sorbet, chocolate sauce, powdered sugar, or fresh berries and ice cream. Make it look as inviting as the original.

Keepsake: While few women today place a slice of cake wrapped in paper under their pillow the night after the wedding, many couples choose to save the top tier of the cake, freeze it, and eat it on their first wedding anniversary. If this is your plan, clearly communicate with the baker and caterer so that the top tier is saved, not served. Another option is to take detailed photographs of the top tier and have your baker re-create it for your first anniversary. A fresh cake that matches the original will taste much better than a year-old piece that has been defrosted!

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Your groom's attire is just as important as your wedding gown. It should reflect his personal style while matching the formality and location of your wedding, as well as your dress. If you are wearing a cathedral-length train, he should be wearing a tuxedo. If you are wearing a simple knee-length sheath dress for an afternoon wedding, he should be in a suit and tie. For a beach wedding, consider khaki pants or a linen suit with an open-collared white shirt. No need for a tie when you're getting married barefoot in the sand!

For a formal daytime wedding, pinstriped trousers and a cutaway jacket is crisp and handsome. If you are having a formal evening wedding, a tuxedo is a wonderful option. For a trendier take on the classic tuxedo, a tuxedo or black suit with a black shirt and black tie is handsome and elegant, and still fresh.

For a less formal morning or daytime wedding, a gray suit with a lighter gray shirt and a patterned gray and silver tie looks put-together and classic. A cream-colored suit with a pastel tie that matches the color scheme looks wonderful for a daytime wedding, as well. Beach weddings can range from very casual to more put together. All-white linen with no jacket is a fresh, summery look, especially if the groom and groomsmen are outfitted in a similar fashion. A linen suit can be very casual or slightly more formal. A looser, more casual cut with an untucked shirt is perfect for beach casual, while a more fitted linen suit with a blue cotton shirt is slightly more formal. Remember that for a beach wedding, a necktie is inappropriate.

The secret to a handsome, put-together groom is attire that fits perfectly. Have pants and jackets tailored to fit the groom's body, and select a style that makes him feel comfortable and attractive. A comfortable, happy groom will be the life of the party!

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When choosing the ceremony location, be sure to select a place that is meaningful. Many officiants are willing to perform ceremonies outside of their house of worship, which gives you many more options. Once you've selected your location, whether it is your back yard or a Caribbean beach, the elements of the décor will make the ceremony personal and unique.

Aisles no longer have to be a straight runner between rows of pews or ballroom chairs. Consider a serpentine runner that weaves between clusters of foam pod seating. If the view is spectacular, replace ballroom chairs with Lucite, making the guests feel like their floating and preventing any obstructions. You may want to get married in the round, with your altar situated in the center of guests seated in concentric circles. The aisle should be delineated in a way that adds to the story you are trying to tell. Whether you choose columns topped with hurricane lamps and votive candles, clusters of moss, or sumptuous rows of hot pink peonies, make it uniquely your own.

The altar is the most important part of your ceremony. It should draw the collective energy in the room to one point, should be pleasing to look at, and should be easy to photograph. The lowest flowers should not be more than two or three feet from the top of your head, so the photographer can be close enough to compose a good picture without missing any details. Lighting the altar is key. There should be enough natural light so that you are well illuminated, can be seen by everyone, and can be photographed without a flash. Consider hiring a lighting company to ensure lighting that highlights your best features. The materials used in the altar should relate to your theme and color scheme. For a beach wedding, consider using shells, starfish, and sea grass. Add flowers and ribbon that match your color scheme or use only shades of white. Garden weddings look lush and romantic when heavily decorated with greens and flowers.

However you decide to decorate your ceremony space, try to use local floral offerings and flowers that are in-season. This will keep costs down without sacrificing in beauty. Consider using the petals of all the flowers that decorated your ceremony space to cover the bed in your honeymoon suite!

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